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A Private December by ~DeliriumDreamer:iconDeliriumDreamer:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Free & Blank Verse


My winter of deception
A private December

Rising to the morning chill
And my words drift away
Falling like so many snowflakes
Their only answer
The echoes of the wind

Find me here
In the shades of grey
You don’t have to look hard
Among these fallen snowflakes
©2004-2010 ~DeliriumDreamer
:icondeliriumdreamer:

Author's Comments

I know its not winter yet, just getting into that mood.

Alright, now about the whole "falling snowflakes" and "fallen snowflakes" things in this one.

I know it sounds repititive, and that I probably should have changed it. But I was going for the effect of comparing the actual poem with "my words drift away".

That and I'm lazy, and can't seem to think of anything else.

So there.

Comments


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:iconevil-santa:
~evil-santa Nov 17, 2004, 10:04:58 PM
you could use more synonyms if you wish to avoid repetition although im sure you already knew that. this a nice little poetic package nonetheless.
:icondeliriumdreamer:
~DeliriumDreamer Nov 19, 2004, 1:34:15 AM
Your comments and advice are very much appreciated. I could always use more consturctive criticism. Again, much thanks.
:iconlled:
~lled Oct 12, 2004, 5:38:19 PM
I thought nothing of the repetition, much less as it being bad. If you do notice the repetition, then I find that it fits perfectly.

I really like this alot, one of the few poems that I wanted to read again. :+fav:

--
"Nothing good can ever come from staying with normal people." Harry McDougle

"The Wataro clan must be like the apricot that hides under your bed and attacks without warning or logic." No Need for Bushido
:icondeliriumdreamer:
~DeliriumDreamer Oct 13, 2004, 9:37:36 AM
Much thanks for the favorite and the kind words, they're greatly appreciated.
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